It is Amma's birthday today
Amma speaks very less but when she does, you become alert, the message comes from the heart, has so much depth and carries so much weight that it takes you in the right direction. She also does not make you feel bad or stupid for not knowing those things.
Amma also does follow her own advice so it does not feel like she is paying lip service to the message.
I am just recalling few critcal junctions in life when her advice helped me calm the violent storms in my mind. Looking back, those storms are not relevant, but the advice is still timeless and valuable.
- When I married and came, Amma mentioned "अपनो की बात का बुरा नही मानते" which meant you do not get upset when someone who is your own says something you do not agree to.
- One time she mentioned " अपने अपने होते हैं , पराये पराये होते हैं, जब घर में दो बर्तन रक्खे रहतै हैं तो बजते ही हैं लेकिन फिर भी साथ रक्खे रहते हैं" when 2 pots stay in the house, it is natural for them to make noise but we continue to keep them together because they belong together, similarly, people in the house may not get along, but they still belong together.
- I used to ask her when I could become like her and she always said for each person there is a time when it comes then you will learn things by yourself. Amma has always been very patient with me.
- Whenever there would be any heated discussion in the house, Amma would never say anything that was her way of being neutral and not taking any sides. It must have been hard for her to do. Her not speaking anything spoke volumes about the strength of her character.
- When I got judgement from others, my confidence in self would get shaken. But from her I always got the feeling that she accepted me just how I was and that would restore my confidence in me.
- Once I asked Amma why do you not get upset or angry at our mistakes, then Papa replied it is because she is detached and that is the truth, Amma is so loving yet detached.
- Once Amma mentioned to my mother that these days kids do not listen so best thing to do is not to give adult kids advice. "आदमी की इज्जत खुदः के हाथ में ही होती है"
- Once I was complaining to Amma about something and she said " You can do 2 things, either you can break the realtionship and say this is it, or you have to learn to tolerate. Even your elders have to tolerate the things they do not like about you.
- Last but not least , "धर्मो रक्षति रक्षिताः" dharma protects those who uphold or protect dharma.
There are some memories of spending time with Amma.
After marriage we would come to Detroit from Columbus every other week and she would not let me enter the kitchen and make lots of goodies and pack a huge box to take.
In 2002, I stayed with Amma for 1 month , just the two of us. That is the most memorable time of my life. I was six months pregnant with Sarvesh. For 1 month, I was the queen of the house. She was such a perfect companion. We read the ramayana together for 1 hour. Whatever I wanted "Amma lets do this" , she would say "Yes" and start it even before the sentence could finish.
After Sarvesh was born, she cooked food for more than a month which was so tasty.
When Satvik was born, I was in hospital for more than a week and she took care of the newborn baby while my life was hanging by a thread.
From 2001 till 2015 Amma stayed with us. Her routine was wake up in the morning at 5 am, take a shower, read Ramayana, and then work on her blog. Single handedly she made a blog for 15 years.
She is the opposite of अधजल गगरी छलकत जाय
I wish everyone had a mother-in-law like Amma and the mother-in-law's stereotypical image in society was changed.
